Who are you?
At the grocery store
When you want to impress other people
When you think no one is looking
When you do not get what is expected
One of the 4 categories of Emotional Intelligence is self-management. A big part of self-management is managing yourself! I am sure that sounded like double talk. I want to add a layer to that statement. We need a more congruent version of self to make self-management easier. it is difficult to manage 8 versions of me listed above.
To help simplify your life you need less versions of yourself.
Many people take the shortcut if they have so many different versions of themselves that they mask to give a facade of "I am that person that I am trying to project I am". During your self-management transformation it will take time and work. Masking is not a shortcut. If you mask who you are by sending a certain version of yourself, it will probably work seamlessly until pressure hits. Pressure will cause a mask to slip and reveal the authentic you. When the rubber meets the road the real you will appear.
True self-management will be easier when you manage less versions of self. Observe yourself in different scenarios of the next few days. Journal what you like the outcome of my behavior and what you would like to change in my behavior in various scenarios. No that you have your list of what you like and what you do not like about yourself, then you have your action list.
Try this approach with your action list.
1. List of things that I like about my behavior and self-management
2. List of things that I would like to improve about my behavior and self-management
Have a great awareness of what I like and what is working well. Start with this list and lead with what is working well and what is yielding you the behavior that you like. Why? You need to experience good results to inspire the tougher tasks of working on improvements.
Enhance the good to build the endurance to transform your other behaviors. It will give you the confidence to letting others experience the more authentic you in other scenarios you would mask.
The ratio should be a 2 to 1 to improve your life, gain congruence and lessen the stress of having to dial up a different version of you per scenario!